Days 1 and 2, part 2

Yup. Here I am, again. I've spent the past week really focusing on not saying (and even thinking!) anything negative about Randy. He really does make it easy. He's such a sweet, gentle, kind person. I've also tried to just say hi to him throughout the day. To really stop in the middle of an insanely busy day and just let him know I was thinking about him. I want this to work. I'm going to make it work...forever.

Hey, look! It's me again!

That's right. I'm here, posting on THIS blog again.
After a lot of thinking, and a lot of virtual head slapping from various people, messages, etc....I'm back to give this a go again. Now, I'm not going to go back and redo the previous days, nor am I going to start a new day today. For the next 2 days I'm going to kind of relive the Love Dare to this point, and then I will pick back up.
Pray for me y'all!

Update to Day 6

Well...He finally emailed me back. And, rather than it be an email about what I can do to improve things, it was all about how HE doesn't do things right. Which is one of the things that bugs me to begin with. I really wish he had more of a backbone. And I hate complaining about it, because he is sooo nice. Who complains about that?

Anyway...I am going to redo day 6. And really think and pray over the tasks for Days 1 and 2, as I haven't been keeping to them.

Day 6: Love is not irritable

He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit, than he who captures a city ~Proverbs 16:32

Today I am to choose to react to tough circumstances in my marriage in loving ways instead of with irritation. I'm also to think about where I can add time to my schedule, and whatever wrong motivations I need to release from my life.


To update yesterday's dare...He didn't answer my email. If I talk to him, it won't make a difference. He still won't tell me. We've been through this before. If he's upset, he won't tell me. He just lets me be, which makes me more upset. It's like he's afraid to tell me, no matter how many times I've told him that he needs to be open with me, or that I'm not going to leave because of something he says. It's really all very frustrating

Day 5; Love is not rude

"He who blesses his friend with a loud voice early in the morning, it will be reckoned a curse to him" ~Proverbs 24:14

Today I am to ask Randy to tell me 3 things that cause him to be uncomfortable or frustrated with me. Naturally, I have to do this without attacking him or justifying my behavior. I'm to do this to work on changing those behaviors.

End of Day 4

So....All I did was send Randy an e-mail asking if there was anything he needed. I did it earlier, but he was so busy he really didn't have a chance to check it all day. Kinda defeated the purpose. But, ah well. It's the thought that matters, right?

Day 4: Love is Thoughtful

Today I am to contact Randy at some point during the day just to ask how he is and if there's anything I can do for him

End of Day 3

Well, I didn't buy Randy anything. It just simply wasn't feasable. I did continue with my positive thoughts and attitude. There were definitely a few times I had to catch myself, but I did. And I continued putting his needs before mine. I made sure he had dinner before his church service (We go to different churches)

Tomorrow is another long (14 hour) day for him. I'm not sure what TLD will have me do, but I may have to ammend it again. He goes in at 9, so maybe I will make him a good breakfast and pack lots of goodies for lunch and dinner.

Day 3, Love is Not Selfish

Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor" Romans, 12:10

Today I'm supposed to buy my spouse something that says "I was thinking of you today"

Figures today is the day I'm supposed to do that. He will be here all day. Not to mention the money isn't really there. I'll have to get creative, I guess!

End of Day 2

Funny thing. I've noticed that, sometimes, when you really need to hear something, you get hit upside the head with it. What I mean by that~You will hear the same thing said many different ways from many different sources. What was I just saying yesterday about changing my priorities? Well, I flipped my Love Dare calendar to page 2. (And, by the way, the calendar is different than the book...it's not the actual Love Dare, it's just things to support your relationship.) It says "The world says to follow your heart, but if you are not leading it, then someone or something else is. The Bible says that "the heart is more deceitful than all else" (Jeremiah 17:9), and it will always pursue that which feels right at the moment." Um. Wow. That is pretty much what I was saying yesterday, what Pastor Clay said in sermon, and what we talked about in my small group. So WE lead our heart. We don't follow it. Interesting, huh?

Anyway. For today...I didn't say anything/think anything negative about Randy. I had a few moments, but I made my thoughts go in a different direction. I spoke with a few friends about my intention with the Love Dare, in the hopes they will re direct me to the right path if I stray. The things I did for Randy he doesn't know about yet, as he's still at work. I made him a batch of cookies (Big deal, since I can't eat them) He's had a travel mug that says something about the Worlds Greatest Dad and there's a picture of 2 models. He's been using that mug quite a bit. Well, I put a picture of him and Wyatt in there. Such minor things, but I did them for him.

I can already tell a difference. When I think about my future with Randy, I'm excited. I'm not thinking about the negatives anymore :)

Day 2: Love is Kind

Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. Ephesians 4:32

Today, in addition to not saying (or, for me, thinking) anything negative about Randy, I'm supposed to do at least one unexected gesture as an act of kindness.

I have no idea what I'm going to do. I think I do, but I'm not sure. He works from Noon until 11 pm, but I will let y'all know later what I did

The end of day 1 (and a half)

Well, it was what I expected. It was easy for me not to say anything mean, as he was at work all day, and easy for me not to think anything bad about him...He really is a nice guy.

Today, however, I decided to change my attitude about something else. I am, at the moment, a stay at home mom. I really haven't been acting like one. My priorities have been all wonky. So today, I put my family before anything else. I didn't spend the day playing games on Facebook. I played with my son. I cleaned my house, and cooked dinner. It all sounds so simple, but it was everything I've been ignoring for things that aren't nearly as important.

I may "just be a wife/mom". I can either be the kind of wife who shows her family she cares by doing things for them, taking the time to make a home cooked meal, or I can be the mom that is selfish and wastes her day on things that certainly don't benefit her family. I choose to be the former. There is plenty of time later for computer games, books.... But now is the time for my family. I've been given a wonderful gift, being able to stay home. And here I am taking advantage of it. Well, no more. I want to be the best I can be for Randy and Wyatt. Noone else can do that for them, just me.

Not only will I not say anything negative, but I won't DO anything negative...even better...I will do positive

Day 1: Love is Patient

So I decided to do a separate blog for my Love Dare journey. Part of me thinks this is a very personal thing, and that I should keep it private. (Not to mention those who read this and are hoping to somehow use the information against me.) But my hope is that someone can benefit from this. And if there are people who are going to use my emotions and my trying to fix my marriage against me, well, that's their problem. You know what? I even forgive them ahead of time. I can't control what anyone else does, and I refuse to be bullied. I pray that someone reading this who is having trouble with their marriage may somehow be able to use this to make things better.

I kinda started the Love Dare yesterday. It was halfway through the day, so I didn't really count. From what I remember about it before, Day 1 is not saying anything negative to your spouse. We went to my Dad's to watch the Ravens play (if that's what you want to call what they did). I made sure I was nice. I didn't so much go out of my way, but I was nice. I'm going to continue Day 1 today, because he works a 12 hour shift, so I really can't start another day. Besides, I'm going to modify it. I resolve not to say anything negative about him today. Not that I'm always talking badly about him, mind you. Tonight I will journal about it, here, of course.